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Military folks!
Rules for SOME of the various military services in the USA.
(Tongue-in-cheek, of course!)
Copyright 2020, R. Fleischer

Marine Corps:

1.  Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.

2.  Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.

3.  Have a plan.

4.  Have a back-up plan, because the first plan probably won't work.

5.  Be polite.  Be professional.  But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

6.  Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with at least a '4'.

7.  Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice.  Ammo is cheap, life is expensive.

8.  Move away from your attacker.  Distance is your friend, lateral and diagonal preferred.

9.  Use cover or concealment as much as possible.

10.  Flank your adversary when possible.  Protect yours.

11.  Always cheat; always win.  The ONLY unfair fight is the one you lose.

12.  In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.

13.  If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's:

1.  Look very cool in sunglasses.

2.  Kill every living thing within view.

3.  Adjust Speedos

4.  Check hair in mirror.

Regular Navy:

1.  Go to sea.

2.  Drink coffee.

3.  Deploy Marines.

Army Ranger's:

1.  Walk in 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

2.  Locate individuals requiring killing.

3.  Request permission via radio from 'Higher' to perform killing.

4.  Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.

5.  Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

Regular Army:

1.  Curse bitterly when receiving operational order.

2.  Make sure there is extra ammo and extra coffee.

3.  Curse bitterly.

4.  Curse bitterly.

5.  Do not listen to 2nd Lts, it can get you killed.

6.  Curse bitterly.


1.  Have a cocktail.

2.  Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.

3.  See what's on HBO.

4.  Ask 'what's a gunfight?'.

5.  Request more funding from Congress with a 'killer' PowerPoint Presentation.

6.  Wine and dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.

7.  Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.

8.  Declare the assets 'strategic' and never deploy them operationally.

9.  Hurry to make 13:45 tee-time.

10.  Make sure the base is as far as possible from any conflict ...but close enough to have tax exemption.

Copyright 2020, R. Fleischer

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Last check/edit: Monday, December 07, 2020